Player 2
by LawlietLover7
Summary: Seth Lowell is new to Wammy's Orphanage and it is there that he meets Matt, Mello and Near. He becomes best friends with Matt and Mello. But when Mello leaves, he turns into Matt's replacement lover. While he and Matt venture out to find Mello, they work through their own uncertain relationship. This includes my OC, Seth Lowell, I claim all rights to him. Contains mature content.
1. Chapter 1

_A picture is worth a thousand words._

Such an overused quote…yet it really does say a lot. It says a lot about what a picture means. It's not just a bunch of colors on shiny, smooth paper. It's a memory.

Some memories bring tears of pain but others bring tears of joy. But memories are memories…and to capture them on a piece of paper is remarkable when you think about it. For a photographer such as myself, I like to capture memories on paper. If I don't, I'll lose those memories and I don't want that to happen. My mind is always running with thoughts and ideas and because of this, I tend to forget things easily. That is why I enjoy photography, I can capture that moment and look back and reflect on it.

Don't get me wrong, I do remember things. I don't have a problem with my head or anything I just…I get distracted sometimes. I try not to but sometimes it can't be helped. The world is just such an interesting place…with so many things to see and do. And yet…I think this as I lock myself away in my bedroom and play video games.

I swear my whole life is dedicated to video games. Well, I do photography as well but when I first started out, I was more interested in video games. Gaming…there's just something about being in your own virtual world that draws me in. As much as I love the real world and its splendors, I am fascinated by the worlds created by humans and their wild imaginations.

"FUCK! YOU DID NOT JUST KILL MY CHARACTER! FUCK YOU, GAMERGOD7!"

I've always had a colorful language…

"ZACHARY SHAWN LOWELL!"

I froze when I heard that voice down on the floor below my feet. I was in front of my computer, my right hand on the mouse clicking furiously and my left hand readied at the keys. My eyes were bloodshot from staring at the screen for so long but…I had to defeat this guy. Gamergod7 is a fellow gamer I met online and we've been opponents in the world of gaming ever since. The guy was called 'Gamergod7' for a reason. He was like…the god of all gamers. No one stood a chance against him. It's like he ruled the gaming world. He definitely had built himself a reputation in the online community. A lot of people knew his name but no one knows who he really is. Who is the guy behind the screenname? How is he so good?

My thoughts on Gamergod7 were distracted when I heard footsteps walking up the wooden staircase leading to my room.

_Shit,_ I thought as I quickly closed the many browser screens I had up and left the usual _Wikipedia_ home screen on my computer. I always played this trick to make my dad think I was doing homework. It worked for quite a while but now that I just yelled my nemesis' name out loud there's no way I could convince my dad that I was doing homework.

The door to my dark bedroom was flung open and there stood my father, his arms crossed over his chest as he glared at me.

"Hey dad…" I began awkwardly.

His eyes moved to the computer screen with the _Wikipedia _homepage on it and then back at me. "I see you're doing your homework."

"Uh yeah I-"

"Where's your notebook and textbooks for class?" he asked.

I fell silent as I realized I left my backpack downstairs. How could I act like I was doing homework when I didn't even have it in the room with me? _Well fuck._

"Get off the computer. Now."

"But dad-!"

He took a step towards me. "Do you really think it smart to argue with me right now Zachary?"

Ugh, he used my name. My _full_ name. I usually just go by Zach but the only time I'm ever called Zachary is when someone is very pissed off at me. And I hate my full name.

I sighed and shut down the computer and stood up from my desk, stretching and cracking my back loudly. My dad seemed to approve of me standing up and left the room to head back downstairs. As soon as he left though I whipped out my phone and messaged my nemesis briefly to explain where I went.

ZDemon: Sorry, parent troubles…play later?

Gamergod7: Understandable. Sounds good dude.

I smiled slightly and slipped the phone back into the pocket of my batman pajama bottoms and walked out of my dark bedroom to head downstairs. I heard the television on which meant my dad was catching up on his usual sports game. It was just me and my dad that lived in the house. My mom passed away quite a few years ago. How? I don't even know. My dad doesn't ever talk about it and I can't really blame the guy.

I grab my backpack and walk over to the kitchen table and take out my textbooks and notebooks. I sat down with a heavy sigh and got to work on Advanced Trigonometry. The thing about my classes at my school is…I'm probably the smartest kid in the whole damn school. Every class I am in has the word 'Advanced' before it meaning I'm above normal. But that also makes me a complete nerd to everyone so people usually avoid me. But I don't mind, I'd rather lock myself away in my dark bedroom and play video games rather than socialize. But I guess that's just the norm with teenagers these days.

I don't even have to try in my classes though…as hard as they sound to others, it's all simple for me. I guess my brain has a lot of room to store knowledge…but I'd rather focus on photography. My dad was a photographer…he always told me stories about his job. He told me about the places he traveled to and visited…he showed me his many albums. That's what instigated my love of photography and I knew from then on that I wanted to be a professional photographer.

Of course my teachers didn't like to hear this. With all of the knowledge stored in my brain I could become a world renowned brain surgeon but that wouldn't make me happy. I want to do what makes me happy and photography is my source of happiness…alongside video games.

This is my typical life, to go to school and then come home and shut myself away from the world with my video games. My dad hated that I wasn't like other teenage boys. He always asked me why I haven't been dating girls, going to parties, and just…basically what normal teenage boys do. But I never had an interest in that sort of stuff. I guess I'm just not normal…figures.

My phone went off in my pocket and I glanced up at the back of my dad's head over in the living room but answered it.

"Hello?"

I rarely ever got phone calls. I didn't really have any friends at school; all of my friends lived thousands of miles away in different countries. That was the thing I hated about making friendships online, these people were so cool and everything you wanted in a friend but they lived so damn far away…

"Hey is this um, Zach Lowell?" a girl's voice asked.

I blinked. A girl was calling me? What the hell…?

"Uh yeah…"

"Oh well, this is Jessica Parker calling from over in Kensington Avenue. So I'm throwing a party at my place tonight and I'm just going through the numbers of everyone who goes to school with me. So come to the party? It'll be fun!"

She sounded way too enthusiastic and just your all-too-typical teenage girl. But a party…I've never been invited to a party before. I glanced up at my dad again who was still watching the TV but it was muted. Well if I went to this party he should be pleased. I mean, his anti-social son getting out to go do a normal teenage thing? That would make him the happiest father on Earth.

"Oh okay, I guess I'll be there," I answered the girl.

"Great! See you then!"

She hung up and so did I. As soon as I did I stood up from the table, having finished my homework.

"So who was that?" My dad asked from where he sat.

I reached behind to rub the back of my neck awkwardly. "I was um, invited to a party…"

"A party?"

"Yeah…can I go?"

My dad was silent for a long minute and eventually he stood up and looked at me with a shocked expression. "You actually want to go?" he asked in disbelief.

I nodded and I watched as his mouth open and closed like a fish out of water. Eventually a smile took home on his lips and he crossed his arms over his chest in triumph. Victory for dad.

"Of course you can go. Where is it at?"

"Kensington Avenue."

He thought for a minute. "That's a bit of a drive from here isn't it?" he asked.

I shrugged and he pressed his lips together as he gave this some thought but then he sighed and smiled at me.

"Well what are you waiting for? Get your butt to that party."

I forced a small smile on my face. I was putting myself far out of my comfort zone for the sake of my dad's happiness. I'm such a good son…

I walked upstairs to my room and dressed in a simple black v-neck tee and jeans. I slipped on a pair of converse and looked in a small mirror to attempt to control my messy head of black hair. But it was useless and all I seemed to do was make it even messier. But my unruly hair did frame my pale, thin face nicely. And with a pair of hazel eyes that couldn't decide if they were green or brown, I suppose I could be considered good looking. But seeing as not a single girl in my entire school has ever stolen a second glance at me, I guess not.

I sighed and left the room to head back downstairs. I walked over to the front door and my dad held out a black leather jacket to me. But it wasn't just any black leather jacket; this was HIS black leather jacket. I blinked and just stared at it, not bothering to take it.

"Dad what are you doing with your jacket?" I asked.

He grinned and urged it towards me. "Wear it. It'll look nice and the ladies will be all over you."

My lips parted in surprise as I slowly took it from him and slipped it on. It was a bit big on me, but it still managed to look nice. My dad took a step back to look at my overall appearance and then he reached over to clap me on the shoulder.

"I'll be hoping to see a pretty young lady when you return home tonight."

I laughed slightly at how impossible that sounded and walked outside into the cool night air. Since I was only 15 I didn't really have a license or my own car. But my dad had his motorcycle and I hoped onto the back of it as he took the front seat. He ignited the engine with a loud roar after we both slipped on our helmets and took off towards the direction of Kensington Avenue. That area I knew had a very rich population. So I had no doubt there would be a bunch of rich kids there who had all the money in the world.

The drive was a bit long, but we reached the address and my dad parked the bike for me to hop off. I could already hear the faint thumping noise of a bass from inside the huge three story brick house. As I got off the bike my dad reached over and touched my arm causing me to turn and look at him.

"Have fun Zach," he said with a smile.

I smirked and nodded. He roared the engine of the bike and with one last smile at me, he took off. I sighed as I watched his bike turn a corner and then started to advance towards the house. The place was huge…it was more like a mansion than anything.

My heart fell when I saw how many people were packed inside the house. I stood outside the front door and listened to the faint rumbles of the bass that literally shook the foundations of the house. Did I really still want to do this? An image of my dad's smiling face resurfaced on my mind and I swallowed. Well…grin and bear it…

I reached out and grabbed the handle of the door and opened it. I walked into the house and forced my way through the many people. It was like maneuvering through a can of sardines. How the hell did people actually _enjoy_ events like these?

As I walked through the house I saw crazy scenes that I only thought happened in movies. People dancing on tables, couples making out in corners, changing lights, I even saw a bubble machine. The music was so loud that the pounding began to give me a bad headache. I bumped into a guy who looked twice my size and had an unshaven face. Obviously the invite for this party grew to people outside of high school…shit.

The guy turned and took one look at my lanky figure and snorted, shoving me away. He probably expected me to shove back but I didn't. If I tried to fight him more than likely I would be killed. So I continued on my way, managing to burst through a crowd and into what I guessed was the kitchen. At least this room wasn't as crowded but there were a bunch of teenagers surrounding the island and I could only guess they were doing drugs. Sure enough I saw the trails of white cocaine and sighed, shaking my head. I hated the idea of drugs…that shit messed with your head badly.

I walked over to the refreshments area and poured myself a cup of Orange Soda and sipped it. I cringed because it certainly tasted off. But strangely I didn't mind the taste so much and so I kept drinking it until I drained the cup. I licked and smacked my lips as I tried to figure out why the soda tasted so weird. I poured myself another full cup and gulped it down. I was thirsty so you couldn't blame me for needing a cool drink.

But after my third cup of the strange tasting soda, the world began to look fuzzy. There was no clear object that I could see, everything had a haze around it and I was starting to see double. I knew I was seeing double because I was pretty sure not everyone here had an identical twin standing next to them. I tried to leave the kitchen, having had enough of the weird soda and started to maneuver my way through the crowds of people again. I needed some fresh air and I had to get outside somehow.

I bashed into the back of someone and they turned around. Sure enough it was the same guy I bumped into last time. He narrowed his eyes at me and pushed me away, harder this time. My mind was sluggish and for some reason this angered me and unlike last time where I walked away, this time I was going to fight back. Nobody was going to push me around.

I shoved him backwards in protest and the guy literally growled like an animal and raised his fist. The minute I saw him raise his huge fist I knew this was a bad idea. He swung his fist towards me but everything was in slow motion. Yet I couldn't find the willpower to duck out of the way and so his fist collided with the underside of my jaw, throwing me backwards into a bunch of people. They all moved away in disgust as I fell to the ground and the guy advanced towards me. I reached up to feel my bruised jaw and moved my tongue around in my mouth. I could taste blood so more than likely I cut my lip.

"Watch me destroy this little piece of shit!" The guy said and people laughed around him. I stumbled hurriedly to my feet and started to force my way through the walls of people, trying to get away. But my movements were still slow and very clumsy so it took longer than expected to find an exit. A miracle must have hit me because I found the front door and opened it, slipping outside. As soon as I was out of the house, the cool night air seemed to help me become a bit more alert. But I was still sluggish and couldn't really piece my thoughts together.

I wanted to go home. I didn't care if my dad was disappointed in me for leaving the party early. But I wasn't having fun and I wanted to leave this hell hole. So I reached in my pockets and found my phone. I dialed my dad's number and he picked up on the second ring.

"Zach?"

I fumbled for words, my mouth seemed disconnected from my head so I found it extremely difficult to speak.

"I…need someone to pick….me up," I said in a very slurred voice.

My dad sighed on the other line. "I should've known you'd get into the booze."

For some reason this made me upset. Why was everything making me so angry? "It's not like I WANTED….to get…like this…"

"Alright, I'll be there soon. Don't try and walk home, just stay where you are and I'll come pick you up."

"Fine…jus' hurry up!" I answered in my very slurred speech.

I hung up my phone and with a groan; I sat down on the cool grass and just leaned back until I was sprawled out on the ground. I stared up into the clear night sky, the stars were moving which confused me and left me to just stare blankly up at them. I don't know how long I laid there waiting for my dad to arrive but I was soon disrupted.

"Let's go to Burger King!"

"You gonna drive Jace!?"

"FUCK YEAH!"

The voices were loud and obnoxious and they were coming from the lawn outside of the house. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and slowly sat up, fighting the dizziness. I watched with blurry vision as four guys were making their way towards the many cars parked out on the street. One of the men, I recognized, as the man who punched me earlier. They reached a red jeep and got into the vehicle. I cocked my head to the side in wonder as I watched them start the car and take off down the street, flooring the gas so the tires squealed loudly.

_What the…?_

I stood up and started to stumble across the lawn towards the street. I wanted to follow the jeep for some reason and so I did, in a very clumsy manner. Of course the jeep was much faster than me but I watched it turn a sharp corner and then it happened.

All I can remember hearing is a loud screeching of tires, the honking of a horn and then that deafening clash of metal on metal.

My ears were ringing from the sound and I stumbled faster down the road towards where I heard the sounds. I rounded a corner and saw a horrific sight.

The jeep that those four guys were in, was no flipped over onto its roof, I saw a bloodied arm hanging out of it and about ten feet away I saw a body lying on the pavement. But my attention was directed over to the smaller vehicle that was lying on its side on the lawn of someone's property. It was supposed to be a motorcycle but it was just a crumbled up piece of metal with smoke rising from it. But I recognized that bike.

My unfocused gaze drifted over to the body laying twenty feet away from it, face down on the asphalt.

My heart dropped as I realized that it could only be-

"DAD!"

My slurred speech didn't get in the way as I screamed out his name. I stumbled over to him and collapsed to my knees next to his body. I flipped him over onto his back and my eyes widened in horror at the sight of his bloody face. He was unrecognizable. I stared at his chest, praying to see that steady rise and fall that signaled life. But it was still…there was no movement.

I leaned over and placed my hands on his chest. The fuzziness in my brain from the drinks I had seemed to evaporate briefly as I focused on remembering how to do CPR. I began pushing down on his chest repeatedly, trying to get his heart to start working again so that I might get to see signs of life in him.

"Come on dad," I said gruffly while continuing to push down on his chest.

Faintly I heard sirens off in the distance. But I didn't let that distract me from trying to save my dad's life. I continued to perform CPR…I didn't even know if I was doing it right. All too soon I felt hands grab my shoulders, trying to pull me away from my dad. Everything was a blur. I remember screaming…yelling to stay with my dad.

"I HAVE TO SAVE HIM! I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE HIM!" I shouted at the EMS people pulling me away. I saw someone grab a white sheet and unfold it, tossing it over my dad's disfigured body. I didn't like losing sight of him and I furiously tried to break free from the grips. But a fifteen year old boy was nothing against two strong men.

I looked over in time to see the drunk man who tried to beat me up at the party crawl out of the jeep. He had sustained only a few cuts but he looked over and met my eyes. I remember seeing shock on his face at the fury written in my eyes. I was angry at him. I could only think at that moment how it should've been _him_ lying dead on the street, not my dad.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" I shouted at him, my eyes were wild with anger.

The man stumbled backwards in surprise at my outburst and a couple officers took hold of him, locking him up in handcuffs. I tried to fight against the arms and hands suppressing me, I wanted to place my hands around the man's neck and strangle him.

But I lost against my fight of restraints and I was finally forced into the ambulance. There, someone stuck a needle in the back of my neck and instantly I was unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

For the longest time, all I could see was darkness. And I was growing tired of it. When would I wake up from this darkness? When would I see the world I was used to? It took all of the energy in my body to muster the strength to open my eyelids. And when I did open my eyes, I instantly regretted it. Bright florescent light shined in my eyes causing my pupils to dilate. I blinked and squeezed my eyes shut a couple times as I tried to force my eyes to adjust to the light.

Once adjusted where I could actually see, I observed the world around me.

Well for one thing, I was in a very sterile looking room. A couple metal chairs along with a very uncomfortable looking armchair joined me in the room. The white walls did not help my eyes with the transition from darkness to light. And there was a faint beeping sound…

I turned my head slightly to the right and saw an IV hanging on a metal rod. A long cord dangled from the bag of clear liquid and I realized from following the cord that it was hooked up to my right arm. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and tried to remove it but my muscles were still too heavy from exhaustion. So I sighed and could only think of how much I hated damn needles.

But my hateful thoughts on needles were disrupted by the gray door of the room opening up. I looked over to see who it was and saw a middle aged man walk in wearing a white lab coat.

As he walked in, he looked down at a clipboard through thick framed glasses. "Well it seems you've finally awakened Mr. Lowell," he said in a bored tone.

He walked over to the armchair and sat down next to my bed. "Tell me, how are you feeling?" he asked.

I parted my lips to speak but only a dead croak that reminded me of a frog was heard. Without a word, the doctor grabbed a Styrofoam cup with a straw and put the straw at my parted lips. I closed my mouth around it and sucked. Cold and refreshing water filled my mouth. After a few gulps of the cool drink, the doctor removed the straw from my mouth and spoke again.

"How are you feeling?"

I ignored his question. "Where am I?" I asked, my voice cracked.

The doctor sighed and clicked his ink pen, jotting something down on the clipboard. "You're in the hospital Mr. Lowell," he said as he wrote.

I furrowed my eyebrows as to why I was at the hospital of all places. I wasn't even hurt…but I do remember someone who was hurt…someone I cared about deeply…

Instantly I sat up slightly. "Where's my dad!? Is he okay!?" I asked loudly.

The doctor sighed and removed his glasses, folding them and slipping them into a pocket on his jacket. "Mr. Lowell, please answer my question before asking anything else."

"I'm fine.  
Now tell me where my dad is!" I demanded.

Silence was all that answered me. I had had enough of this bullshit. I reached to my arm and began trying to pull the IV out of my skin when a cold hand grabbed my wrist, stopping me. I looked up and saw the doctor looking at me with a very serious expression on his weary face.

"I suppose we'll have to wait a bit before we continue any more questioning. You need more rest."

He stood up and began walking towards the door when I spoke.

"Please tell me where my dad is…" I pleaded.

The man stopped in his tracks, his hand extended towards the metal handle of the door. A minute passed before he turned to look over his shoulder at me.

"I'm not the one to tell you that."

"Then who is? I have no other family."

There was another long pause. "Your dad was driving a motorcycle the night before last and was caught in a head on collision with a red jeep full of drunk drivers. The impact of the crash destroyed the motorcycle completely and your father was ejected from it instantly," the doctor said.

I could only swallow as my heart pounded furiously in my chest. _Don't say it…please don't say it…_

"At 12:17 in the morning two days ago, your father, Mr. James Lowell passed away at the scene of the accident. You were found at his side performing CPR on his body. You were forcefully removed from the scene where you passed out in the ambulance. You've been here since then."

With that said he opened the door and left the room, shutting it behind him.

* * *

The world was silent.

Not a single noise could be heard through my muffled ears. My mind was blank, which reflected in my eyes which stared ahead at the white wall across from me in the room. My face was masked in this expression of disbelief for a whole fifteen minutes. After that the world went blurry, as if everything was melting before me. The hot stinging sensation made me grit my teeth together as I tried to fight it. But I really couldn't fight it for long before I gave in and let that hot liquid spill down my cheeks

I was thankful to be alone in this small room. Because being alone, I could cry my own bitter tears in silence.

It was my fault.

It was my fault. If I hadn't agreed to go to this party…if I hadn't tried to make my dad happy by going to this party…things would've been different. I would've been at home with my dad, the both of us watching a sports game on TV or I'd be up in my room playing video games.

I should've spent more time with him…I should've sat down at the kitchen table with him every night for dinner. I should've never argued with him over school and all of that pointless time. I should've told him 'I love you' one more time…_dammit why couldn't I have had a proper goodbye!?_

My head was tilted to the side, the hot tears sliding over the contours of my cheeks until they dripped off onto the pillow. Some of those tears dripped onto my hair, dampening my dark locks.

Why do I fuck everything up? Why did I have to be responsible for my dad's death? If I just hadn't drunk that stupid alcohol at the party…if I hadn't called him to pick me up…he would still be alive right now.

I was almost hoping that maybe I'd be arrested for this whole incident. Seeing as I labeled myself as my dad's murderer…

I killed my dad…I was the cause of his death.

The self-loathing spread like wildfire throughout my body, engulfing my heart in blackness. I hated myself so much at that point…I was such a worthless human being…

The door to the hospital room opened again and the same doctor from before popped his head into the room. He saw my distraught face and his dark eyes clouded with sadness. I quickly wiped away my tear stained cheeks, not wishing for anyone to see my tears before speaking.

"What do you want? Anymore bad news?" I asked him bitterly.

He answered, "You have a visitor."

I raised an eyebrow at this. Who would visit me? My dad was the only family I had and he was gone now…

I shrugged and looked away; the doctor took that as my consent to let whoever it was, inside my room. The door opened wider and in walked an elderly man. He had a balding head with gray hair brushed over the baldness, trying to hide it. He had a hunched over back and a crooked nose. His silver eyebrows sheltered his eyes which looked at me through square glasses. His hands were slipped into the pockets of his tan trousers; he wore a waistcoat and a dark brown jacket. He dressed pretty old fashioned in my opinion.

The old man bowed briefly before announcing himself. "Hello Zachary, my name is Roger. I'm pleased to meet you."

I glared at him briefly before looking away again. The man took this as his sign to continue.

"First off, I want to offer you my deepest condolences on your father's passing…it is very tragic. He was a great man."

This caught my interest.

"You knew my father?" I asked, turning to look at this mysterious old man.

He nodded his face was very grave. "Yes I did. He worked for me for many years."

I wondered why I never bothered to ask my dad more about what jobs he worked for in his past. There was so much I wish I could've talked to him about…but I couldn't do that now. Never again.

"Why are you here?" I asked, my voice cracking as I fought to keep control of my emotions. I wanted to get the old man out of my room and leave me alone. I wanted nothing more than sweet solitude so I could bask in my self-loathing.

The old man leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together gently. He looked at me with intent and very serious eyes. "First off, my name is Roger Wammy, brother of the famous inventor and scientist, Quillish Wammy."

I snorted. "Yeah, whatever. Now tell me why you are here," I asked again.

"I'm here to inform you that you are to come home with me."

I was silent for a moment after he said this. What was this all about? One minute I hear of my dad's death and the next some stranger walks in thinking he could take me home with him!?

"I'm not some dog you can adopt from an animal shelter!" I snapped.

Roger sighed and shook his head. "You have no records of any other family you can go to, Zachary. Your only choice is to go to a foster home or come with me to a special orphanage made for children like you."

"Children like me?" I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion. "So I'm not even normal now?" I asked with sarcasm.

"You're special, Zachary. Your mind is much more powerful than the average persons'. You have a great deal of potential…I've looked at your school records and your grades are perfect. The classes you take are all above average. Your IQ is immensely high. You have a great deal of power in your mind, Zachary."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't understand what you're talking about. I'm normal…just like every other teenager on this planet!"

Roger raised an eyebrow. "You think so? I beg to differ, Zachary. If you come to this orphanage with me, I can put you in classes that will actually challenge your mind. You will make friends with other children who understand you. You will be an equal."

I fell silent for a long time, unable to find anything to say to this. An orphanage? Just what kind of orphanage was this? People who could relate to me? Well that would help with dealing with the death of my dad…but they wouldn't want a person like me at the orphanage. Not a murderer…

"Go find a different kid to take to this orphanage Roger…I'm not the one you want," I muttered darkly.

Roger stared at me and then shook his head. "Is this really what you want? You want to go to a foster home?" he asked.

I swallowed against a tight throat. "You don't want a murderer in your orphanage!" I said a little too loudly.

Roger looked up at me in surprise but then his silver eyes softened and he tilted his head to the side. "You blame yourself for the death of your father." He didn't ask, he simply stated it as if he knew. I began to wonder how many other kids at this orphanage blame themselves for the deaths of their parents…Maybe this place wouldn't be so bad for me. It's not like I had anywhere else to go…

I felt a cold hand on my lower left arm and I looked into those somber, gray eyes. "We accept only children who have gone through what you have experienced. You've been isolated your whole life for being different. But if you come with me to this orphanage, your whole life will change for the better. I promise."

I squared my jaw and clenched my hands into fists on top of my blankets. "Don't lie to me…" I began to warn him.

Roger smiled softly. "I would never lie to you Zachary. I speak only the truth. Besides, this orphanage will shape you into someone who can prevent this from happening to other children. You may have lost everything you have, but you can make things better and help others from losing what they had."

Silence passed once more before I spoke. "Alright. I'll go with you."

I felt like I was signing my life away with those words, in fact I was. But if I could stop this self-hatred…this…_loathing_…I had towards myself from corrupting another kid…then it'd help me feel better. I can't change the world; I can't stop this from happening from every child in the world. But I can at least contribute a little to help make it a little more of a better place to live.


	3. Chapter 3

It took the hospital an extra day before they released me. When I walked out of the sliding glass doors and into the bright sunlight, I could hardly see anything. But when my eyes adjusted I saw an old fashioned black car waiting for me. The man named Roger stood by the passenger door, holding it open while smiling softly. He wore a trench coat and a hat and I noticed he had stuff in the car already. My stuff.

Two large suitcases were full of what I could only guess were my clothes. I briefly wondered what was going to happen to the house that my dad and I lived in…I guess it would be sold…I mean, I'm not even old enough to own it. Being fifteen years old sucks sometimes…

"Zachary, I'm here to take you to your father's funeral. And from there we will go to the orphanage." Roger told me as I approached the car.

I didn't say a word but got into the car, sitting on the plush leather interior. Roger shut the door behind me and got into the driver's seat. As he ignited the engine, I looked out the window at the hospital. That explained why the nurses at the hospital gave me such formal clothing to wear. I looked down at my black trousers and I wore my dad's black leather jacket. With a light blue button up shirt underneath I looked formal but still casual. As Roger took off down the street, away from the hospital I began to wonder who would show up to the funeral.

My guess was no one would show up. I mean, it's not like anyone knew my father aside from me and Roger…

It didn't take long to go to the cemetery. It was rather close by. As we pulled into the small gravel road we passed many headstones of all shapes and sizes. The names on the stones were blurred as I skimmed over so many. The car came to a stop and Roger got out first, walking over to open my door. I got out of the car and looked over at the few people gathered around a chestnut casket.

My heart dropped when I saw the large box. This was it. This would be the last time I would see my father.

I was numb as Roger led me over to the people. Most of them were men, probably coworkers who worked alongside my dad and distant friends. I stopped in my tracks as I saw that the casket was closed. Why was it closed? I needed to see him…one last time…

"Open the casket," I said to Roger.

He looked over at me with a frown. "We can't do that Zachary. Your father's body is in no state to be viewed."

I narrowed my eyes. "Open the casket!" I said loud enough for everyone to hear.

The priest that was a part of the crowd wordlessly walked over to the large box. He took one glance at me and lifted the heavy lid. He turned away quickly and walked away. People seemed to steer clear of the now opened casket but I drew closer to it. Eventually I was close enough and I looked down onto my father's face…or at least…what was left of it.

It really was disfigured…it wasn't even him anymore. He was hardly recognizable and I nearly vomited at this fact. Why was it that I couldn't even look at his face one more time? Why was it that the only way I could say goodbye was to this unrecognizable corpse?

I gripped the side of the casket so hard my knuckles turned white. I bit my lower lip as I tried to fight back the hot tears again. I didn't want anyone else to see me like this but that was sort of unavoidable…I let out a strangled gasp for breath and my knees shook violently until I collapsed against the casket. Roger rushed over and helped me back up, steadying me.

I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat and reached up to grab the casket lid. With as much strength as I could muster, I slammed it down, shutting my father away. I was stupid in thinking I wanted to see him...

Roger turned me away from the stupid box and walked me away. The priest stood up from a chair and stood behind the casket. He opened a small leather bound Bible and began reading a few verses from it. A couple of the people at this small funeral sniffed and dabbed handkerchiefs at the corners of their eyes. They weren't even crying…just putting on a show as if they actually felt remorse.

"Our father, who art in heaven..." The priest spoke loudly and as he did, the casket was lowered into the 6-foot deep hole in the ground. I watched it go lower…and lower…until I could see it no more. There were a few more verses from the priest and a couple words from the group of people and then it was over. Everyone began leaving but I stood next to the hole that was full of freshly replaced dirt. A headstone marked its place reading:

JAMES IVAN LOWELL

FATHER AND FRIEND

JANUARY 15th, 1967 – NOVEMBER 17th, 2009

I just stood there, looking at the words inscribed onto the light gray granite. That was it. That was all that was left of my dad. He went from being a caring, adoring father to nothing but a slab of granite listing his name and dates of birth and death. It was just so little of a remembrance…

I felt an arm clasp onto my shoulder but I didn't have to look to know it was Roger.

"Your father was a great man. He will be missed by many."

I snorted, the bitterness written in my eyes. "Missed by many? Clearly you didn't see the few people who showed up at his funeral," I said.

"Those are all people who worked alongside him and knew him well."

"Yeah…but they didn't know him like I did."

"And that is the power of a relationship between father and son."

I balled my hands up into fists, my nails digging into my palms as I looked down at my dad's grave.

"There is still so much I wish I could say to him…"

Roger gave my shoulder a brief squeeze before reaching into one of the pockets of his coat. I glanced over to see what he was fishing for.

"What are you-?" I began to ask but my eyes fell on the black professional camera. My lips parted as I was at a loss for words. I could only stare at the camera…at my _dad's _camera.

"I found this in your bedroom when I went to collect your items. There was a note beside it…I believe I still have it…"

Roger dug into his pockets once more and retrieved a small note. He handed it to me and I recognized my dad's handwriting instantly. My eyes hungrily read the note, drinking in every curve of my dad's writing.

_Dear Zach,_

_I want you to have this. I'm so proud of you going out to that party and just having fun. Life is about enjoying yourself and living every moment to the max. Life is short…so make the most of it. And the memories you make throughout your life can be captured with this camera. It was mine for many years but I'm giving it to you. Use it well._

_With love,_

_Dad_

"So you're a photographer?" Roger asked me while smiling. I said nothing but continued to stare in shock at the letter.

My dad had planned to give me his camera that night. It was probably put on my desk to surprise me when I got home…

My vision began to go blurry again and my throat tightened up. My fingers tightened around the camera that Roger handed to me and I took the strap, putting it around my neck where it hung against my chest. I slipped the note into the pocket of my coat and turned to walk towards the car. Roger followed me and I got into the vehicle by myself.

We drove away from the cemetery, leaving my dad's body behind as we made our way towards the orphanage. To my new home.

* * *

Wammy's Orphanage.

Home to the most gifted minds in the world. But those talented, gifted minds are nothing more than children.

And the first thought that came to my mind when I first laid eyes on all of them? They were _weird._ And a little creepy…just the way they looked at you though. Their eyes had the same air of mystery, they were dark and most gazes that turned to me were emotionless.

I walked down the gravel driveway beneath an overcast sky that threatened rain. Roger accompanies me, his black leather shoes crunching beneath him as we walked. We stayed silent as we approached the building. Whenever I looked up at the windows of the orphanage I met many curious eyes watching me. I felt extremely awkward…I mean why did I even agree to coming to this orphanage? Oh right…because I wanted to go somewhere that I would fit in.

But something told me I wouldn't fit in so easily amongst these strange kids…I noticed they all seemed to keep to themselves…

"Zachary there is something I have to tell you," Roger said as we walked, breaking the silence between us.

I stuffed my hands deep into the pockets of my dad's black leather jacket while averting my gaze from the many curious pairs of eyes. My eyebrow knitted together in frustration at the kids for looking at me.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Since you've decided to become a resident at the orphanage, the children here know each other by alias names. It's for…protection…which is what L has required the children to do."

"L?" I asked, turning to finally look at the man, stopping in my tracks. "Who is L?"

Roger looked at me with his steel grey eyes before sighing and continuing forward. "I'll explain everything when we get inside," he said.

When we reached the large mahogany doors of the orphanage, Roger knocked with the brass knocker. It took a while but eventually one of the doors cracked open and half of a woman's face appeared.

"Yes?" she spoke in a timid voice.

"I've returned with the boy I mentioned the other day about Ms. Mary…now could you please allow me inside?"

The woman named Ms. Mary jumped and opened the doors wider to allow us inside. She shut the doors quickly behind us and locked them before turning to us. I noticed she wore a pleated dark green skirt that reached her knees and a white blouse. A tan apron covered her front that had certainly seen better days since it was covered with countless of stains. Ms. Mary was a middle aged woman, probably having been at the Orphanage for many years of service.

Ms. Mary eyed my overall appearance before making to remove my jacket. I quickly moved away from her, refusing to part with my dad's jacket. Roger gave her an explanatory look and she seemed to understand quickly because she didn't dare make another attempt to remove my jacket. I followed Roger up a creaky wooden staircase to the second floor of the orphanage. Once we reached the top we walked down a long narrow hallway. Windows lined the left side while doors took place on the right. We passed an occasional old fashioned oil painting or a colorful stained glass window.

"Ah here we are," Roger said and we stopped at the door labeled as 100. He took out a set of keys and unlocked it before entering. I followed him inside and I shut the door behind us. He walked over to a large mahogany desk where he took a seat at a comfortable leather chair. He gestured to the two chairs in front of the desk after sitting down.

I walked over and plopped myself down and then watched while waiting. Rather than talking, he instead reached over on his desk to press a small button. I had no idea what it did but I was more interested in finding out about this 'L' guy…

"So," I began, "Who is L?"

Roger rested his elbows on the desktop and clasped his hands gently together. He looked weary and knew he was contemplating on how to tell me about L.

"How do I begin…" he mused quietly. "L is first off, the world's greatest detective. He has solved countless of what seemed like unsolvable cases. Over the years he has saved many lives and caught the most sought after criminals making him the number one detective. There are no limits to what he can do."

I raised a skeptical eyebrow at this. Roger sighed and closed his eyes. "You have to believe me, Zachary…"

I pressed my lips together and leaned back in my chair. "Fine whatever you say…" I said and after a moment of silence, I changed the subject. "So is L currently going after that Kira guy?"

Roger's eyes flashed open and I saw a strange light in them…I saw fear flash briefly in those eyes before he turned to me and he was calm. "Yes, L is pursuing Kira as we speak."

"I see."

"And this brings me to the topic of your alias name…"

I snorted. "Sounds pointless."

"It won't be pointless if it manages to save your life someday…"

I sighed and cocked my head to the side. "So? What's the new name for me?"

"Whatever you want the name to be," Roger relied simply.

I raised my eyebrows in mild surprise but decided this might be cool. I mean I always hated my name didn't I? Especially the name 'Zachary' which Roger liked to call me constantly. So to put a stop to that, I decided to go with the name of a character I once created in a video game that gave me top ranks in the online gaming community.

"Seth. Seth Lowell," I said.

Roger nodded his head. "Very good. Now then Seth, we move onto the topic of classes here."

I groaned and rolled my head back. "Classes? I didn't know orphanages were schools."

"Seth, you need to study for whatever you want to pursue in your future. You see, every child here strives to become the next L. Should L himself pass away, then one of you will be given the opportunity to replace him. You are all known as L's successors."

"A…_Successor?_" I mused slowly. Everything in my head was piecing together like a puzzle…so this wasn't an orphanage. This was just some institution to raise children like cattle to take the place of some talented guy.

"This is bullshit," I said, standing up from my chair. "I'm not going to some place to just be turned into a dog for you to train."

"I would like you to say that again after a week of staying here," Roger said stopping me in my tracks as I went to the door. I sighed and turned to face him.

"Fine I'll stay. So when do I get a room?"

"Follow me," Roger said, standing up from his place behind the desk. He walked past me and towards the door. I followed him out of the room and down the hallway. Through the empty hallways I could hear the occasional outbursts of laughter, crying and quiet voices.

"The only room we have is completely unoccupied. Most children here share a bedroom so it's two to a room. But we have a room available that is currently unoccupied. Many children refuse to stay in this room because it was B's room once."

"B?"

"Yes, a kid just like you who came to this orphanage known as L's 'back-up.' His friend, A, committed suicide and he ran away, shortly later he became a killer in LA. He wanted to create the one crime L couldn't solve but he was unsuccessful. He recently died from a heart attack in an LA prison," Roger explained.

_Talk about a rough life…_I thought as we reached the bedroom. Roger opened the door and I walked inside. It was very empty in the room. There was only one twin bed and a plain wooden dresser. At the end of the bed sat all of my luggage and that was it. I walked across the old wooden floorboards until I sat down on the bed, a cloud of dust puffed up from the mattress when I sat down.

Roger placed a hand on the doorframe in the room and smiled softly at me. "I think you'll come to like this place. I can assure you, you will make friends here. Tomorrow I will have Ms. Mary bring you your class schedule and you'll be all set. You can begin unpacking if you wish or you can explore the orphanage. Nothing here is off limits except there is a curfew. You must be in bed by ten, other than that you should be all set."

I stared at the wall opposite of me and soon Roger left, closing the door so it was only cracked open. After a long period of silence, my ears began ringing, as if the silence was too much for them to bear. I lowered myself backwards to lay on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. So a serial killer lived in this room and every kid in this orphanage was afraid of this room…at least I wouldn't be bothered.

I turned my head to look over at the two large suitcases full of my stuff and closed my eyes. I'd unpack later. For now, I would rest and try not to think about anything.


	4. Chapter 4

Well I should've seen this coming.

Because I was the first kid to occupy the room known as 'B's Room' I have been alienated as the next Beyond Birthday. And it's all ridiculously stupid. I mean really? These kids were just too damn gullible with the rumors. I guess from what I was told, I look a lot like Beyond Birthday. This only made me more frustrated.

As for my classes, they were extremely challenging. Everything was advanced but this stuff was practically college level. It all actually tested me and I did find it refreshing to have my mind challenged. But it was lonesome. No one wanted to pair up with me for studying or anything of the sort. I was the ultimate outcast.

Eventually it was a break period during the day and I was allowed to do whatever I wanted. So I decided I'd take a trip to the boy's bathroom in the west wing of the orphanage and isolate myself from everyone there. I found it to be the quietest place in the orphanage. And for some reason no one wanted to enter it. I soon found out why no one wanted to use this bathroom though.

I sat in a small bathroom stall. I held a half-eaten PB&J sandwich in my hands but I wasn't really hungry. It was one of those often frequent periods of depression as I remembered that my dad died. All because of me…it was all my fault. I was crying, using this solitude to let my emotions run free, because I knew better than to bottle up my emotions. I had been sobbing long enough that my thin face was stained with tears and my eyes were puffy and red.

I froze when I heard the door of the bathroom open up.

"-and he once again got the highest score on the advanced psychology and neurology exams!" a voice sounded from the doorway.

Footsteps could be heard walking across the tile flooring. I lifted my feet up and hugged my knees to my chest so no one would know I was there. The footsteps reached the old rusted porcelain sinks and a faucet turned on.

"And you know what he said to me? He said _nothing!_ Absolutely nothing! He just ignored me and walked away without a word! You know what that tells me? He's obviously not smart enough to think of a better comeback!" the voice continued. Whoever it was sounded very mature. The voice of a boy done with the awkward phase of puberty.

There was a moment of silence and then the faucet shut off abruptly. "_Matt!_ Are you even listening to me!?" the boy asked in annoyance.

"Hm? Oh, yeah of course Mells…" a new voice sounded. This one was younger and was obviously very distracted with something. I could faintly hear the soft beeping noises of a Super Mario Bros. game.

"Then repeat to me what I was just now talking about!" the boy named 'Mells' asked.

"Uh something about Near ignoring you," Matt said.

There was a brief silence and then an angry huff. "He just pisses me off so much…" Mello said darkly.

I swallowed and then smelled the scent of cigarette smoke.

"How many times have I told you not to smoke around me? I don't like it…" Mello said with annoyance.

"Hmph? Oh, sorry…I forgot."

The faint sizzling sound could be heard of a cigarette being snuffed out. For some reason the smell of the smoke didn't sit well in my nose and I felt the urge to sneeze come on. Before I could prevent it, I let out an abrupt _achoo!_ And instantly my heart hammered in my chest. _Shit_.

"Oi, who's there?" Mello's voice ordered.

I stayed silent, holding my breath.

"Matt, search the stalls."

Sweat began dripping down my temples as I heard a lazy sigh and heavy combat boots clunking across the floor.

BAM

The first stall door was opened and Matt moved to the next one.

BAM

That one opened to reveal nothing. It took two more stalls before I looked down to see those combat boots in front of my stall. I took a deep breath and finally the stall door was kicked open, the force behind the kick was strong enough to break the lock, sending it flying away. My eyes were shut tight and I hid my face in my arms and knees, not wanting anyone to see that I had been crying. It was just silence and I slowly lifted my head up, my eyes moving up from the floor and further upwards. I saw black combat boots with the laces tied sloppily. Dark blue skinny jeans were tucked into the boots and they were followed by a black and red striped t-shirt that was two sizes too big on the thin frame. The boy's arms were limp at his sides as my eyes moved up to a pair of goggles hanging around his neck. By the time I reached his face my lips were parted in surprise.

He was handsome, with a pair of emerald green eyes half hidden behind dark red locks of hair. His thin face seemed somehow malnourished and his eyes had the hint of the same dark circles that every Wammy kid seemed to share. I watched as his eyes went from shock to a glint of sadness at the sight of me. I must have looked pathetic to him, sitting crouched on a toilet seat with a tear stained face…

"Who is it Matt?" a voice asked and footsteps approached where he stood.

A new boy joined Matt at the door of the stall. He was a bit taller than Matt but he had chin length blonde hair and a pair of speculative bright blue eyes. He wore a very simple outfit, of a long black sleeved shirt and black pants. I noticed he was barefoot at the moment his arms folded across his chest.

"Who are you?" the blonde asked me in a demanding voice.

I blinked and then managed to somehow find my voice. "S-Seth…Seth Lowell," I spoke.

The blonde's eyes narrowed. "There isn't a soul who goes by that name here at Wammy's."

"You obviously didn't pay attention to the news when Roger informed all of us that a new kid named Seth was staying in B's room," Matt spoke for the first time.

Mello turned to glare at him. "I was studying!" he snapped.

Matt rolled his eyes. "You're always studying," he muttered.

Mello narrowed his eyes and Matt held out a hand towards me into the stall. I looked from his hand to his face which wore a small smile.

"You know how to shake hands, Seth?" Matt asked me.

I furrowed my brows at him. Did he think I was stupid? To prove him that I wasn't as dumb as he thought I was, I reached out abruptly and grabbed his hand. The moment our skin met I felt this strange rush of electricity flow through me. A shiver ran down my spine and caused the small hairs on my arms to stand on end. I looked up into Matt's eyes and knew he could feel it too. He tightened his grip on my hand and pulled me to my feet from where I sat. Once I was standing, Matt's hand lingered on mine but he quickly realized what he was doing and let go. Mello hadn't noticed this strange behavior; he was currently pulling out a small plastic bag of Hershey Kisses. He pulled one out and unwrapped the foil around it popping it into his mouth.

The three of us walked out of the stall and stood there awkwardly in the middle of the bathroom. Eventually Mello gave me one last glare of suspicion before turning away.

"Well I have to get going. I've got the placement exams to study for and this time I'm going to beat Near no matter what the cost is."

I looked at Matt to see him roll his eyes and shake his head slightly. He sighed and pulled out a Gameboy from the pocket of his pants. My eyes widened when I saw it.

"Dude, is that a Gameboy Advance? That's a classic!" I said abruptly.

Mello stopped in his tracks and Matt's smile disappeared to be replaced with surprised eyes. "You play video games?" he asked me.

I nodded, averting my gaze. "Yeah, I've been playing video games since I can remember."

Matt beamed at me. "That's awesome! No one ever plays video games with me here! Well, Mello will play with me sometimes but he eventually gets bored. Hey you want to join me to play some _Pokemon_?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah that'd be awesome!"

Matt laughed. "Cool, then you can come to Mello and I's room tonight if you want. We're in room 2 in the East wing," he said.

I nodded again, finding that to be my only way of responding. Matt walked over to Mello who stood waiting impatiently, tapping his toe on the tile floor.

"See ya later Seth!" Matt said and they both exited the bathroom leaving me to stumble back until I was supporting myself against the nearest stall. Did I finally make a friend here?

* * *

By the time 7 o'clock rolled around I was in my room getting ready to go to Matt and Mello's room. I was almost shaking with excitement to be able to have someone I could visit and socialize. I guess Matt was my friend, as for Mello he and I were only acquaintances really…something told me the blonde didn't let people get close to him easily. This made me wonder how he and Matt got to be friends but I decided to push that question out of my head.

I put most of my games in a knapsack and slung it over my shoulder. I paused at a nearby mirror to check my appearance. I wasn't sure why I was so self-conscious about how I looked when I was only going to hang out with these guys. I suppose it was because I was so nervous at the fact that they were willing to hang out with me. I mean I never really had friends before…

I swept my bangs to the side so the black locks of hair weren't too much in my eyes. When the hazel color could be seen better, I nodded and left my room and made my way to Matt and Mello's room. When I arrived outside of their door I bit my lip in anticipation. Should I do this? Is this all just a trick played by them so that when I open the door there's no one there? I decided to just enter anyways so I raised my hand and knocked on the door with as much courage as I could muster.

It took a few minutes for anything to happen but then the door swung open and there stood Mello, his piercing blue eyes looking at me beneath blonde bangs.

"Oh, it's you," he said in a tone full of enthusiasm. He turned away from the door and left so I took that as my cue and entered.

"Matt, your friend is here," Mello said.

I looked around the room and was amazed by the stark contrast of it all. On Mello's side of the room everything was neat, tidy and organized. One the other side of the room there was junk everywhere along with a messy bed, wires to electronics scattered over the wooden floor and an old TV set where the redheaded gamer sat in front of, busy playing a game.

I smiled slightly at the sight of Matt and walked over to him. I sat down next to him on the floor and placed my sack full of games in front of him. A moment passed as Matt found a good spot in his game to pause and he finally turned to look at me with an impish smile on his slightly freckled face.

"Glad you could make it," he said. "Ready to do some hardcore gaming?"

I grinned. "I was born for this dude."

He handed me a controller and started what seemed like an endless session of gaming. Swearing, laughing, jeering and the tossing of controllers from angry hands erupted from the countless of video games we played. Matt was impressed by my video game collection, saying that every game I had was in his favorites.

And the whole time we played, I noticed out of the corner of my eye how Mello sat on his bed watching us with a very unhappy expression. There was just something about how those piercing blue eyes watched me told me that if I hadn't been Matt's friend, he would be beating the shit out of me. And this sent a shiver of fear roll through me as those eyes narrowed slightly when I patted Matt on the shoulder from his win on the last game of the evening.

When it was close to ten in the evening I stood up and so did Matt. We stretched, our backs cracking in protest from getting used to our crouched positions. I turned to Matt with a bright smile and he laughed lightly when he looked at me.

"You're amazing at video games dude, almost as good as me."

I snorted and gave him a challenging look. "Almost? I beg to differ my friend; I think I am evenly matched for you."

Matt laughed again and surprised me by pulling me into a brief "guy" hug which meant patting my back and then pulling away quickly. But during the hug I glanced over Matt's shoulder at Mello who looked positively livid. I took this as my warning to leave and so with a last nod towards Matt, I left their bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

I got halfway back to my room when I remembered I had forgotten my knapsack of video games. I sighed and turned on my heels to head back to their room. I was about to knock on their door when I heard rather loud voices from inside.

"-lasted far too long to be considered a 'friendly' hug, Matt!"

That was Mello's voice and he did not sound happy at all.

"He's just a friend Mells," Matt retorted.

"Maybe you are but you're getting too friendly with him for my liking! Notice how much he resembles B?"

"He's not B, Mells! He's not some insane psycho! He's just like you and me, seeking acceptance!" Matt said in anger.

"Well stop letting him get so close to us! I don't like him! He seems…sketchy."

There was a moment of silence and then Matt spoke, "So this is what this is about. You're jealous."

I blinked in shock. Mello was jealous of me? Why? And what was this about a 'more than friendly' hug? I thought it was just a normal bro-hug…

My thoughts were jolted from my mind when I heard a loud thud from in the room. I gripped the handle and pressed down, letting the door inch open enough that I could peer inside. What I saw next made me freeze to my spot.

Mello was backed against a wall in the room by Matt. And I watched as Matt attacked Mello's lips furiously as the two boys lip-locked in an intense battle of dominance. But eventually Matt won the battle and he slid a leg between Mello's causing a small moan erupt from the blonde.

Watching the two boys interact in such a romantic manner caused me to blush a bright red. I tried to move my gaze away from them but it was just so…mesmerizing. The room was growing hot with their heavy breathing and with their loving moans I felt a particular part on my body grow tight in the confinement of my jeans. I winced and let out a short breath of hot air when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped and shut the door as I was turned around to face Ms. Mary. She sighed and tapped at her watch that was on her wrist.

"No children out of bed past ten Mr. Lowell," she said sternly. "Now get to your room with this warning."

I nodded in understanding, forgetting the stupid curfew hours. I glanced back at the door of Mello and Matt's room but continued on my way to my room in the East wing. As I changed into some sweatpants and a simple black t-shirt my mind was blank. It wasn't until I lay down in my bed that I found my mind wandering back to the image of Mello pinned against the wall by Matt.

And as my eyes closed and I rolled over onto my side to fall asleep, my mind morphed that scene in a way so that it wasn't Mello who was pinned against the wall by Matt. It was me.


	5. Chapter 5

_"I hear he was brought here after murdering his father."_

_"Apparently he sleeps with a knife under his pillow."_

_"The resemblance to B is scary you know? He looks so much like him, it creeps me out!"_

Rumors had spread since day one that I arrived at this orphanage and every kid kept their distance from me. It made me so depressed that I was looked at as an outcast. Roger had told me that by coming here I would be amongst kids who could help me cope with the loss of my dad. But instead I felt more isolated than ever before.

I spent a hot afternoon sitting outside on one of the benches in the grounds of the orphanage. I had on my dad's black leather jacket and my dad's camera slung around my neck by the strap. I laid flat on one of the benches beneath a large oak tree. I faced up to the sky, peering through the camera lens. I didn't take any pictures, instead I just watched the effects the camera gained from the sunlight peeking through the large green leaves that moved slowly with the warm breeze.

This is usually where I spent my time when I was fed up with all of the rumors about me and the stares. I was supposed to be in my History lesson at the time but I could care less. I couldn't stand any more of those stupid rumors about me and the guy named Beyond Birthday.

As I gazed up at the green leaves I couldn't help but think of how they were the same green that took home in Matt's eyes.

Fuck, why was I thinking about his eyes? Was that normal? Probably not. I'm just a weird kid, thinking up strange things that screw with my mind. I sighed and placed my finger on the cool, silver button that would take a picture. With a soft clicking sound, I snapped a shot of the sunlight filtering through the leaves. With the lighting like it was, the exposure of the picture was perfect.

"Aren't you sweltering in that black jacket?"

I jumped in shock at the voice speaking out of nowhere and I fell off of the bench. I landed on my side and cradled my camera, more concerned about its safety than mine. When I knew that it was unharmed, I carefully sat up and rubbed the back of my head where I hit it on the leg of the bench from falling down. My eyes slowly moved from the grass to a pair of combat boots and skinny jeans…a striped shirt and finally a pair of goggle-covered eyes.

"Matt?" I asked in mild-surprise.

He leaned down and extended a hand with a crafty smile. "Hey buddy, need a hand?" he asked.

I couldn't resist returning his smile and accepting his help to stand up. Once on my feet, I brushed the grass off of me and straightened the jacket, frowning at how big it was on me. Hopefully one day it'd fit me normally.

"This is my dad's jacket, it's very special to me," I told Matt.

He looked me over briefly before smiling wider. "Cool! Hey can I try it on?"

He made to reach for my jacket but I quickly backed away from him a few steps, clutching the jacket close to my body.

"No," I said quickly.

Matt paused, his hand out-stretched and then he lowered it. His face didn't show anger or confusion, he simply gave a brief nod of his head, his eyes serious. He gave me the look of understanding, as if he knew how protective someone could get over something meaningful to them.

"Ah, sorry buddy. Didn't realize it was important to you."

I pressed my lips together briefly before sighing and walking back to him and said, "Nah it's my fault. I'm the one who freaked out. I guess I just feel safe when I wear his jacket…like…he's still here with me."

I blushed when I realized what I said and how childish I must've sounded and I ran a hand through my black locks of hair. "Shit…I must sound stupid. Sorry," I muttered.

Silence was all that could be heard and I looked up to see Matt with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, a simple smile on his face.

"Hey it's fine dude. I understand."

I sigh with a short laugh before moving to sit down on the grass. Matt joined me and we both sat under the shade of the tree, just watching nothing in particular.

"So why are you here? Where is Mello?" I asked.

Matt sighed and reached into one of his pockets to take out a pack of cigarettes. "He's studying as usual. I'm supposed to be in Math class but…eh…I could care less about my classes." With that he snickered and glanced at me while placing a cigarette in his mouth.

"You don't mind if I smoke do you? Mello never lets me smoke when he's around and well…he's always around me ya know?"

I shrugged. "I'm not bothered by it. Go ahead."

He smiled gratefully and flicked his lighter, cupping his hand around the flame before pulling away and puffing on the cigarette. He pulled it out from between his lips and blew out a steady stream of smoke before turning to look at me again. "So what brings you out here?"

"Rumors," I said darkly.

"Ah," was all Matt said and took another drag from his cigarette. We sat in silence for a little bit again before he spoke.

"You know, you sort of do look like B."

I cringed, fuck even Matt thinks so? Well shit. I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"Argh why does everyone say that!? I don't want to look like a serial killer!"

Matt laughed and patted my back. "Sorry buddy, but it's true, you look like him. Hey you know what we should do that might help with these stupid rumors?"

I looked up and over at him. "What?"

"Dye your hair," he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. "Forget it," I said while looking away from him.

Matt shrugged. "Hey, with your black hair everyone is gonna see it and think B. If it was a different color it might help."

"What color were you thinking?"

"Red."

I snorted and laughed before looking over and seeing that he was dead serious. I frowned and raised an eyebrow. "My _whole_ head? Wouldn't that be copying you then?" I asked him.

Matt shook his head. "Nah I was thinking just the tips of your hair. It'd look badass and help with diffusing the rumors around here."

I considered it, my eyes flashing with an image of me with red in my hair and I smiled wistfully. "I like the sound of it…maybe I should…"

With a flick of his hand, Matt tossed the cigarette onto the grass and stubbed it out with his foot before turning to look at me with a small smile.

"Well then I'll talk to some people and see if I can't get you some red hair dye. We're gonna make this happen."

I laughed and looked down the fiddle with my camera. Matt took notice of this.

"You're a photographer?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Sort of…yeah…"I admitted.

"Can I see some of your pictures?" he asked.

I bit my lower lip but figured I might as well and so I removed the camera from around my neck. Matt made to take it but I didn't give it to him. The camera was my everything, just like with my jacket, I wasn't about to just hand it over to him. I liked Matt and trusted him, but I just couldn't let anyone have these two items of mine.

I moved closer to him so that I could still hold the camera and show him the pictures. When I was inches from him I held the camera so we both could see.

Matt sighed. "Not close enough, I can't see them."

To my surprise, Matt moved even closer to me until he was right against me. I could feel his warmth pressed up against my side. His steady breathing brushed against my shoulder and his arm supported him behind me. To be honest, this made me a nervous wreck. Dear god did this kid ever think about personal space?

With slightly shaking hands, I began flipping through the photos. As I did, I could feel his heart beating against my back.

"And here's the one I just took of the tree leaves," I said in a slightly breathless voice, feeling Matt's hot breath fluttering some strands of my hair.

"I like that one, it's awesome!" Matt said. He moved away from me causing me to have to try to hide my red face.

I busied myself with placing my camera back around my neck and asked, "You think so?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "You should show Roger those photos, Seth. Every detective needs a good photographer to capture evidence to solve cases and we don't have anyone to fill that job. You'd be perfect…and maybe…just maybe if you're lucky, L might have you work for him."

My lips parted in shock. "L would hire me?" I shook my head. "No way."

"Yes way!" Matt said. "L has given Near and Mello bits of cases in the past that he's worked on to see how they handle in figuring them out. He doesn't just keep us here like dolls on a shelf, Seth. He sometimes puts us to work, to prepare us for what is to come."

I blinked in shock and turned to look into those green eyes. "You really think L would have use of me?"

He smiled and reached over to ruffle a hand in my black locks of hair. "Yeah dude, I think he would. Just show Roger those photos alright?

I nodded and tried to fight his hand off my head and laughed. Matt smiled and adjusted his goggles over his eyes. Which brought up another question from me.

"Why do you wear those? The goggles I mean…" I asked.

"Mm? Oh these?" Matt chuckled. "My eyes are very sensitive to the sun. I suppose it's from spending my days locked in a dark room playing video games constantly. But if I ever want to go outside, I need to wear these otherwise I am blinded and can't see anything. And I rely on my vision for when I'm practicing my shooting."

"Shooting?"

"Yeah, Mr. Wammy is a professional sniper. He trains only a select few of us to handle guns. Mello and myself are in the top few of his students. Of course he doesn't show up for every training routine. Normally a skilled trainer comes in his place but he shows up when we have out testing," Matt explained.

I stared at the brick walls of the orphanage in shock. I had no idea Matt was a trained gun handler. Worse thing is that Mello is too…god I am so getting my brains blown out by that blonde.

"Wow, I never knew…"

Matt laughed, "Maybe someday you can join us. But it takes a lot of persuading to get Roger to agree to let anyone in. He's very strict on who is a gun handler. He doesn't want anyone to use the knowledge unlawfully."

I smirked. "Was B a trained sniper?" I asked.

Matt shook his head with a low whistle. "Hell no. If B was a trained sniper…fuck that'd be insane. I mean the guy was nuts…give him a gun and hell would probably break loose. There's a reason he was locked up in the Los Angeles high security prison."

"So how many people did he kill?"

"Three."

I furrowed my eyebrows together. "Why?"

Matt shrugged. "I dunno, I'm not good with history and stuff. If you want more information on B, Mello is the one to ask about it."

I sighed. No way was I going to learn about the serial killer now…

"Well I guess I won't be learning more about him then," I muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"Mello hates me," I said.

Matt blinked and then laughed again. He reached over to pat my shoulder sympathetically. "Dude, Mello doesn't hate you. He hates everyone."

I looked at Matt with wary eyes. "But I feel as if he hates me specifically."

"What makes you think that?" Matt asked with a frown.

"Whenever I'm with you…he…if looks could kill…" My voice trailed off and I knew Matt could tell where I was going with this.

"Oh…" was all he said.

I sighed and lay down on the grass. "Look if there is something more between you guys I don't want to get in the way."

"What makes you think there is something more between us?" Matt asked a little too quickly to be taken as casual.

I didn't want to tell him that I saw the passionate kiss between them that night a week ago so I shrugged and muttered, "Just instincts…"

"Well we're not," Matt lied.

I closed my eyes and said nothing more on the subject. Silence passed between us and we just stayed like that for a while. Soon I heard the doors open and voices float out to us in the yard. Kids were leaving the building to take a break in the courtyard where Matt and I were.

"Matt! There you are!" Mello's voice could be heard and Matt sighed. I opened my eyes to see him standing.

"Well, looks like the fun is over."

I stretched and sat back up, wrapping my arms around my legs. I watched as Mello approached us, he stopped momentarily when he saw me but then continued with confidence.

"Where were you?" He demanded of Matt.

The redhead shrugged and gestured to where I sat. "I decided to ditch classes and found Seth outside so we've just been talking about random shit. Nothing super exciting," he told the blonde.

I could feel Mello's piercing eyes on me but I avoided them like the plague, keeping my focus intent on my feet.

"Well you should at least tell me where you're disappearing to from now on."

"Okay mom," Matt said causing me to burst out laughing. When I looked up into the furious eyes of Mello my laughter died instantly and I looked back down.

"Matt we need to talk," Mello said quietly.

Matt groaned. "What did I do this time?"

"Just follow me!" Mello growled through clenched teeth.

I watched as Matt followed Mello away from me. He turned to give me a small smile and a wave which I gladly returned. I placed my camera up to my eyes so I could look through the lens at the area around me. The lens briefly focused on some kids kicking around a soccer ball. Then it focused on feet jumping on a game of hopscotch on concrete. Finally the lens focused on the scene of Matt and Mello in what looked like a heated argument.

I sighed and decided to give them privacy and moved the lens away from them to a window in the second story. It was there that I saw a thin, pale face peering out from behind a curtain. I zoomed the camera to the face and saw dark eyes looking out at the children. Then those eyes slowly flickered over and stared right back into the lens of my camera at me. I jumped and nearly dropped my camera. When I managed to move my camera back up to look through the lens at that window, I saw nothing.

Who the hell was that? Was it a ghost? I swallowed nervously and stood up, deciding to head back inside.


End file.
